We're Reeling Through An Endless Fall

I've been obsessed with this song since forever.

But now, it has gotten stronger than ever since my holiday trip, for reasons that are too stupid to be revealed.

Seriously, just thinking about it makes me feel like...well, banging my head against the wall in frustration.

I think my friends would know why. *cough*

This Perilous Journey

So this is it.

Tomorrow's finally the first day of college. I'm gonna have to go through all that orientation stuffs, alone.

Alone, again. Making new friends, again.

One should think that by now I'm used to this situation.

But no I'm not.

My heart is beating, my head is aching, my stomach churns, and I keep having this feeling that something is missing, some forms/fees/documentations that I forgot to submit.

I realized that this is the very first time I handled things by myself.

Normally, I turn everything over to my parents, but now they insist that I start learning how to be independent.

They even expect me to take a taxi to the campus, that is until I get my own driving license.

Oh no, I'm not complaining.

I know very well that this time would come eventually.

This is a part of growing up. To taste the real world, to gain new experiences, to be what I've always wanted to be.

But it sure is scary.

Just once, I wish the world would stop turning around and let me have a moment of peace,

because I feel like time is flying too fast.

MIA No More

First of all, I'm terribly sorry that I've been sort of neglecting this blog for the past few days.

I was on a holiday for the whole week, and though I did bring my laptop along, I didn't write anything.

To me, blogging is meant to be done at home. Don't ask why.

Anyway, the trip was quite fun. Tiring, but fun.

From Perlis to Penang and then straight to Cameron Highland. Boy, was I exhausted.

Loads of photos were taken but I'm not gonna put it up here.

However, if you're, by any chance, interested you could see them here.

Unfairness

One decent band is finally having a gig here in Malaysia and I've got no chance to see them.

whoopdeedoo.....

The Inevitable

Suddenly it hit me that I'm about to step outside my comfort zone.

Sometimes I wish we could just freeze the time and enjoy our youth as much as we want to.

Seeing kids running around, laughing their heart out, I realized being ignorant is pure bliss.

If I ever get to meet my younger self, I'd tell her what a great man once said,

"Life moves pretty fast,

if you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it."

People changed. Life is changed.

Today, a movie moved me.

This movie, Everybody’s Fine, depicts a retired father of four, who just wants to get all his kids together around the same table like they used to do when they were little. However, all of them made excuses not to come home to see him.

So he sets off on an impromptu road trip to reunite with each of his grown children, to find out why.

Family, love, fatherhood, getting together, trust, truth,

This movie definitely touched me, and now I can't stop crying.

Girl Just Wanna Have Fun

'cause I had nothing better to do

It's already past midnight, and I am still wide awake.

I'm having fun turning the volume of my iPod up as loud as possible, this is a RARE opportunity I tell you.

currently dancing around to What You Know - Two Door Cinema Club in my underwear.

*ahem, I think that wasn't just a normal coffee I drank..

Alone At Last

let's get fuckin wankered

Oh yes.

This is just what I need: home alone for the weekend.

No, really. I'm not being sarcastic or anything.

If there's one thing I love the most about this family, it's how often they leave me alone at home.

Everybody loves some 'me' time right?

....Although, I wouldn't mind a small trip to Solo, you see I've never got the chance to explore my country that much.

Maybe next time though.

Confused

I'm sorry but you got it all wrong. I don't know where you got that idea, but I never, repeat: NEVER, play favorites with you.

The fact that I lived with him now, doesn't make me love you any less. Haven't I proved myself as a good daughter?

You know I tried to be fair, I tried not to pick sides. But you guys never seem to appreciate my efforts.

No one can understand how very difficult it is for me to handle this kind of situation,

How very hard it is for me to 'help' you people.

Can you parents, for once, put aside all your ego and think of us, your kids?

Stop asking me to tell him this, or tell her that, I'm not born to be your communicating tool aren't I?

This is your mess, I'm not responsible to any of this.

If you want to know why I decided to 'forget' telling him that he is no longer allowed to talk to his own son, it's very simple really.

How would you feel if the same thing happens to us? How would you feel if you can't see your daughter for years?

Again, I'm telling you that this has nothing to with money. It's not because of that I chose to help him.

I could see it you know, I could see the sadness in his eyes. He'd never me tell me that, but I can feel it.

It kills me how this almost make him looks like he never had a son.

But then I thought of how lonely you'd be without brother by your side, that's why I agreed to let him live with you.

Last night, when Dad told me that he just chatted with brother on the phone, I was truly happy for him.

He deserved that.

It's about time you let go of your anger and hurt, Mum. It's been almost 2 years now.

For the sake of brother too, you can't keep them apart forever.

Regardless of what I say, I would never hate you, any of you.

I'm not even mad, I'm too disappointed to be mad.

Last Post Of The Day

They never fail to amaze me.

'Nuff said.

Top O' The Mornin' To Ya

Sometimes, all you need to start the morning is sugar.

Seriously, nothing can beat the sweetness of this colorful little thing :3

What I think of Her

You are quite the self-righteous little uppity bitch.

SO...

You're a coward Llyn, You're one pathetic coward.

How long do you want to remain silent?

How long do you intend to let the insults continue?

Your heart tells you to speak up, speak up and defend her.

But no, you're too damn afraid of your own opinion.

And instead you chose to laugh along with them, as if your heart is not torn apart.

Another Attempt

So this is probably my second, third, fourth blog.

Thanks to my lovely friends who encouraged me to start writing again,

I finally have the confidence to pour out my feelings.

I don't know how long this blog is going to last, God knows how much I don't have a strong determination.

But I'm just going to give my best anyway, considering that this is also a good way of therapy.

In conclusion, it feels good to be back Bloggers :)